May 28, 2009

CTRL-F will work in the future.



















12:12 PM

me: you may or may not find this amusing, but I just saw a cartoon picture of a giraffe on the internets

TJ: ok

me: and my immediate reaction was to email it to sam because he would like it
then i was like, um

TJ: hehehe

me: kid doesn't check email
DUH

TJ: that's funny

me: that's like when i impulsively try to search things that aren't digital
like my own brain
or a paper book
find, replace
it doesn't really work that way

TJ: just wait until we're all disembodied heads in glass jars
ctrl-F will work

May 23, 2008

Lil'Dub tagged me

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Locate the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences on your blog and in so doing...
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged me.

Ehem.

New designs result. Mary Eleanor Spear's "range bar" and John Tukey's "box plot" can be mostly erased without loss of information. The revised design, a quartile plot, shows the same five numbers.

I tag every single one of you who is right now reading this. If you have a blog, you must comply!

Apr 14, 2008

More of the same Jibba Jabba

I have been really lazy here. You probably think I'm busy, right? Oh, she has a kid and a job and a house that needs work and all kinds of fascinating extracurricular activities, so she must be busy. Nah. If I spent the time making up nice blog stories that I do playing stupid Scrabulous on Facebook, then I would still have a few readers out there.

So I just came back from rehearsal for Carmina Burana, which I'm singing with a group at out neighborhood Universitas. It's a weirdly mixed group - plenty of undergrads, but a lot of older people as well that must be faculty, staff, and local alumni. I sat down on the first day next to a girl who cheerfully asked me what year I was. I said, "I'm an alumna..." and she said, "Oh. I'm a freshman." Then she proceeded to tell me how she was freaking out because her friend just got "promised" to a guy, and they had only been going out for five months. I was like, "What's promised? Is that a religious thing?" and she said, "No, like, promised to be engaged later. This is terrible! She's only a freshman! Pardon me while I freak out, I mean, this is big..." Then she went back to texting madly on her phone.

It's a little tricky to describe the average choral singer. There are about 40-50% normal-looking people. The rest fit into various other categories.

1. math grad student, probably goes to Renn Faire a lot

2. classic band geek girl or girl who did a lot of musical theater in high school; laughs a lot and makes gestures

3. some geeky combination of both of the above, except, strangely, a student of the humanities; can be overheard talking about "Model Congress"

4. frizzy-haired middle-aged ladies who would probably wear a boxy blazer with a cat brooch on it, or perhaps a sweatshirt that says, "Too Many Books, Too Little Time!"

5. that one person with the facial piercing

6. serious musicians who coincidently happen to be really attractive - these are the minority

I have also noticed that more sopranos than altos are blond. Also, more are tall. If I seem to be leaving out stereotyping the men, it's because they sit behind me so I don't get to give them the once-over as much.

While I'm reducing everyone to categories as usual, I'll add some more categories based on actual singing:

a. awesome singer, nothing wrong with them

b. nice voice, but sings way too loud and doesn't even seem to notice it

c. person who is sitting right next to you and you can't even tell she's singing - this is either because she sings really softly, she blends beautifully, or because she's surreptitiously studying some psychology textbook under her score and not singing at all

d. nice voice, but is pronouncing all the Latin, Italian, German or French wrong... this is the WORST kind, because the director usually reviews all the pronunciation so there's no excuse other than having NO EAR for language, which is weird, right, because you have an ear for music...

Today this girl was sitting next to me and I was staring at her toes the whole time because she was wearing flipflops and it's still like 45 degrees outside at night. She has bright fuchsia toenail polish and an unfortunate Disney sweatshirt on. She's not rolling any of the 'r's and keeps pronouncing all the 'o's and 'u's with a Philly (or Valley?) accent, making all the pure vowels sound like diphthongs. This is a disaster, but what can I do? Club her?

Now's the point where you tell me to relax and that I am an overly-critical crazyperson who would enjoy life more if I wasn't so intolerant. Well, you'd be right but it's my dag blog.

I'm going to bed now. Night night!

Mar 13, 2008

What to eat?

I'm sitting in the living room in Topanga, in my vacay with the baby, and my mom comes up to me and says, "What should I make tomorrow night?" She's holding a book called A Collection of the VERY FINEST RECIPES ever assembled into one Cookbook. This book is softcover, with a strawberry shortcake on the front. Under the title, it says "see back cover." On the back, the editors tell a story about how these recipes really are the truly best-ever recipes for cooking and eating that were ever created and compiled. The date on this thing is 1979.

Sample recipe titles inside:

Connecticut Supper for 6
Workperson's Roast
Polynesian Meat Loaf (this was when everything was Polynesian)
Beef Birds with Olive Gravy
$25,000 California Casserole
Pheasant - All Drunk & Spunky
Avocados on the Half Shell
How Danes Roll Cabbage
Oatmeal Cottage Cheese Patties
and
An Infallible Recipe for Preserving Children

The purpose of this blog entry is to suggest that maybe housewives in the seventies had pretty decent senses of humor.

Feb 25, 2008

MAIL ART 3, Coming this April



Are you interested? I know at least that Amanda is. Mail Art participants will send a piece of their own original artwork to a randomly assigned recipient each week. Artclash asks that everyone spend at least two hours each week creating their artwork and mail each piece on time, so by the end of the month each will have sent and received four pieces of art. The last Mail Art project drew over 100 participants from 12 states and 3 countries!

To participate, please send your name and address via snail mail to 4535 Larchwood Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19143 by March 14, and they will send you the names and addresses of 4 other participants.

http://artclash.com

Feb 12, 2008

What's this "meme" thing?

Capella tagged me! Here are the rules of the game.

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Make sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting that you did. (I don't entirely get this, but I think that means I go to their blogs and comment in them.)

Six things:

a) non-important thing #1: I like almost all food except I hate zucchini and all summer squashes. I think I might lack some kind of enzyme for liking them, since everyone else seems to think they're peachy.

b) I don't like it when people park unwanted furniture near my desk at work. It happens more often than you would think.

c) I am known for being the official cake-cutter at all birthday or shower or party situations where cake needs to be cut because I really enjoy the way the knife feels as it slices through sheet cake. I have a lot of practice knowing how to slice the pieces up without undue frosting buildup on the knife, which causes unfortunate disfiguration of the fluffy roses. In general, I have good haptic skills.

d) I looked at my seed catalog the entire time everyone else was watching the Superbowl. I am trying to make it through to the spring by thinking about Sungolds and Armenian cucumbers...

e) I believe I could have been an awesome hairstylist and perhaps that I missed my calling. I also would have been an incredible private investigator or a competent seamstress/patternmaker or a decent math teacher. I would have been the world's worst astronaut, bible salesman, and/or podiatrist.

f) I don't like it when people touch me with their moist toes. Ew! I have several similar pet peeves that most of you already know about, like the whole gum cracking thing.

I tag Karen. I know I'm supposed to tag more people, but Capella already tagged my sis. I don't know that many people with blogs! I am not sure Amanda would do it... would you, ABH?

I love Karen's stories:

K- "here, you'll like this hush puppy."
Lili- "i don't wanna eat puppies!"
K- "it's not a real puppy. that's just the name."
Lili- (taking a bite) "i just felt a puppy bone!"

Feb 10, 2008

Open postcards to ABH and AEW...




... and a teaser to the rest of youse all.

These and these are the last four entries of two series of digital postcards. Amanda and Amber and I have been sending them back and forth over the internets lately for the purpose of creating a final set of them for Fun-A-Day.

The idea is that for each day in the month of January, we sent digital postcards on alternate days. The person receiving would then alter or build upon or riff off of the previous image and send it back (a la Layer Tennis, although it was our idea first). It's like a cross between penpalling and whisper-down-the-lane. If this confuses or intrigues you, please attend the Fun-a-Day show at Studio 34 this upcoming Saturday night, and you'll see what it's all about.

Jan 26, 2008

Of or pertaining to Scotland

1. Imitating a Scottish accent is universally (mostly) considered fun and/or funny. Why? Please elaborate.

2. Hilary is having her annual birthday clothing swap tomorrow, and I'm going to try to go up there with Sammy for the event. This pertains to Scotland because Hilary used to play street hockey on a team in Brooklyn with Mike Meyers, and the connection between Mike Meyers and Scotland is obvious.

3. Right around the time I left for maternity leave, my firm was purchased/subsumed by a large Scottish architecture firm. Nowadays, we see the Scots every so often as they visit our office - Friday, we had one such a visit. Scottish Architect did a slide presentation of some of the work going on there, and he used the phrase "bespoke building." I think I know what that means - like, a "dedicated" building, perhaps? The interesting thing with the far-flung English speaking world is that people from different sides of the pond can have whole conversations and perfectly understand one another, and then someone has to go and say "bespoke building" or "nappies and biscuits and trousers" or "bollocks" and we are forced to confront our insurmountable differences.



4. Scottish Architect also mentioned that British sculptor Antony Gormley had done a sculpture for this particular site. The piece he showed is called Angel of the North, a massive figure with a wingspan of something like 50 meters, made of corten steel. I like this image, and it reminded me of seeing Gormley's Field installation when I went to Edinburgh with Shari in 1994. Field was of particular interest to me - I liked the scale of the whole endeavor. I like the idea of a man bending 350 people to his will and convincing them to spend time making a zillion of these little guys out of clay. (Even more interesting is the ability of Patrick Dougherty to get volunteer labor organized enough to help him make these things. But he's not Scottish, so let's move on.)

5. Thanks to Jim and Lori watching Sam at their house for a couple of hours, TJ and I went out last Friday to see a reprise of The Sea by James Sugg, this time performed at Gloria Dei, the Old Swedes' Church. (Yes, I know the difference between Sweden and Scotland, stay with me.) I already happened to have seen this a year or two ago with Christine when he performed it at the Wilma Theater as part of the Live Arts Festival. But it was epic - I mean, it was fairly short, but James Sugg is completely diabolical on the stage and it was very musical, I loved it and I think Miller did too. How could we not, given its description as "a one-man rock opera" and "...the soul of a classical song cycle, but the performance style... of a full-on rock concert." A sea-shanty Rock Opera! When I saw it again in the Old Swedes' Church, it was brilliant there - I couldn't believe it hadn't been conceived there, it fit so well. The space itself makes you feel like you're in an old sailing ship of some kind, and the ye olde headstones in the cemetery outside have 'f's where there might have been 's's. As we were leaving after the show, I heard a little bit of a lilt coming from the steps above me and there was Rachel, of Scottish Ross-and-Rachel, who we met a little over a year ago when I was still pregnant. They're friends of a friend of Ashu, and when they came to Philadelphia we took them to the Standard Tap to introduce ourselves. Rachel, as it turned out, was the stage manager for the production and TJ and I were happy to see she found a niche in this city while her husband is working on his postdoc! They are both really nice and I look forward to getting together with them again and hearing them speak Scottish.

6. Last night we watched The Wicker Man on cable on-demand. As it started to unfold, I couldn't understand whether it was the worst movie ever made or the best. On the one hand, it had a goodly amount of bad acting and all kinds of creepy 70s-style sexual deviance. But, it was practically a MUSICAL! A musicale, even. And there was an autoharp involved at one point. And papier mache animal costumes and a freaky burning hand. His Majesty Lord Summerisle had hair like an electrocuted 80s Ted Danson. No, wait - more like Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future. There were Scottish accents and did I mention jaunty tunes? It was phenomenal. Now I know where Burningman in its current incarnation came from - some kids in SF in the 70s watching THIS MOVIE. Although when actual human and animal sacrifice is involved, sung to the Middle English tune of "Sumer Is Icumen In," it's a little more intense to watch and not a little upsetting.

Jan 19, 2008

Favor for Bender

I was doing a favor for my colleague, Dr. Ross Bender, and designed a cover for his new Glottopsychiatry textbook. It came out so nicely, don't you think?



Jan 1, 2008

NYRs

1. Do more correspondence ART. (Amanda, no pressure.)

2. Curb eating, as per usual American female obsession with losing 10 pounds.

3. Clean up everything around here!

4. Do not pressure self to always be cleaning up everything around here. Relax more.

5. Finish Architectural Registration Exams in January before my birthday -- doable!

6. See more, hear more, play more music.

7. Go to sleep earlier... good night!


... and a happy New Year to all...

Dec 30, 2007

Additional Geographic Revelations...

...gleaned from looking at maps just now.

1. I finally nailed down exactly where Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia are.

2. Lithuania is right above this little piece of Russia that's not even attached to the rest of Russia! Discontinuous!

3. Alaska and Hawaii are disconnected and hecka far away from the rest of the US. Now, actually, I knew this already, of course. But this was the first time it dawned on me how odd it is that Alaska is part of the US. Why? It's enormous, and far, and NOT EVEN CONNECTED. I asked TJ why we wanted it as a state, and he said he thought Russia sold it to us cheap, and I asked why we bought it even if it was cheap and he said he didn't know.

4. I now know where Yemen is. I also know which one's Qatar and which one's the UAE and which piece is Oman. I also noticed that Bahrain is tiny. It's like the Belize of the Middle East.

5. Eritrea and Ethiopia are really close to Israel, which explains why there are Jewish Ethiopians. This is something I couldn't get a handle on as a child, but that's because I never realized that Ethiopia was that close. Sorry for being an idiot, but I haven't looked at maps like this since junior high, and apparently in junior high I wasn't paying enough attention.

Next stop: I'm going to go look at southeast Asia and get a handle on all that Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam stuff.

P.S. This all reminds me of an interesting story about when Zach Berman and I were sharing Amanda's tiny apartment in Greenpoint that one summer. There was this little girl named Itsel upstairs, and she always came down asking if Amanda was back yet, and Zach kept saying, "No, she's in Cambodia," and I guess Itsel thought that must be a place in Queens or something because an hour later she'd ask again. So finally Zach got out the atlas to show her how far away it was, and immediately her eyes glazed over and she almost fainted from disinterest and then she went back to coloring with markers. This is why kids don't learn about geography - they don't know that it's interesting until they're 32 and realize that if they were asked to draw a map of the world, it wouldn't even be funny.

The End.

Dec 27, 2007

Over There, according to Dubin

My understanding of the 'Stans is still limited, but I'm learning more through the years. First of all, there are more of them than you know. How many? Well, there are Pakistan and Afghanistan, obviously. Then there are the second-tier (in terms of name recognition) 'Stans like Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan. Kazakhstan is in a category all to itself, owing to Sacha Baron Cohen and the infamy of his hero, Borat. Anyway, these are then further subdivided into lots of regional 'Stans, like Baluchistan, Shurjestan, Qoraqalpoghiston, etc.

If you had asked me to draw the geography of the Middle East on a blank piece of paper, I would have drawn Iraq and Afghanistan next to each other. To the left of this, I would have placed Israel and its bordering countries of Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt (which I know roughly how to draw as a vestige of Hebrew School in 3rd and 4th grade). So far so good. I know that Greece and Turkey are somewhere north of all that, and that if you go far enough north you'll hit Russia and Ukraine. Armenia and those guys are also north, somewhere. To the east you'll eventually get to India. But the problems would start once I had to join these things together - how far is Israel from Iraq? Where's Pakistan? How does Iran fit into all this? Did you know the eastern part of China is much closer to Kabul than Kabul is to Baghdad? And how did Kazakhstan get so big? No wonder they were pissed off about Borat.

My sketching ability is still poor, but it's better now. And today, I learned that Afghanistan and Iraq do not even share a border. After the Twin Towers fell, we were told that bin Laden was hiding in the hills of Afghanistan. We invaded Iraq using Afghanistan as a staging ground, but the relationship between these two countries was blurry at best to most Americans and I wonder how many people realize that Iran is a sizable piece of land right smack in between them. People my age have a vague awareness that the political history of Russia has a lot to do with power structures in the Middle East, but we don't have a good sense of how Russian interests shaped the area as much as American ones. (We probably know even less about what wacky meddling the US and Britain were up to while we were growing up.)

As time goes by, I piece more of it all together. Given that my ability to remember the histories of nations and wars is terrible, the only way I understand any of it all is through personal connections. For example, Iran. Growing up with Sara jan, I always had a special feeling about Iran and thought I knew a passable amount about the culture there, both before the Revolution and after. I could do a reasonable imitation of her father's speaking voice, and I knew some Persian words!* We were exposed to stories told by Sara's dad, stories about how much they partied and had fun there in their youths, and I got a vivid picture of the pro-Western life there under the Shah in the 70s (even if it was a very narrow slice of the picture). I didn't fully understand what the final straw was under the Ayatollah, if it was a cultural/religious issue or more related to the violence between Iraq and Iran, but I knew that something made Sara's family emigrate since people don't just up and leave their homelands for kicks. It must have been unlivable for them in Tehran.

Sara also taught me things** like, ok, the fact that Iran is totally different from Iraq, because the Iranians are Indo-Europeans. Whatever Iraqis and Armenians and Turks and Arabs are, they are NOT Persians. (Many nationalities are proud of who they are, but it would be just as valid to say that people are proud of who they AREN'T.)

But now what about Afghanis? When I moved to Philadelphia, I learned that there are two Afghani restaurants on Chestnut between 2nd and Front - Ariana and Kabul. I've tried them both and they are DELICIOUS. And both remind me very much of Sara's Mom's and Aunts' cooking. I also just read The Kite Runner the day before yesterday, a story of a young boy's life in Afghanistan before emigrating to the US in the late 70s. In the book, the characters who don't speak Urdu speak Farsi, and I recognized a lot of the words. Khoda hafez!

The Kite Runner really took it out of me, by the way. I know I'm sensitive to sad stories, even when they're nominally fiction. (This is apparently a quality I got from my Dad, who could barely watch Project Runway owing to its brutality.) Can I deal with seeing the movie, which happens to be out now? I probably will read A Thousand Splendid Suns, but I don't know which is worse - a book about the ravages of war, or a movie.

Is it wrong to learn about what's going on in the world through historical fiction? Probably, since it's on the fiction shelf for a reason. But I can't really absorb the current state of affairs in the world by watching CNN. And it does make me happy when stories like these become mainstream bestsellers; it means that people are human, and that they DO care about what's happening out there even if they can only process it in the form of a story, rather than a newscast.

On that note, I've been waiting with baited breath for Persepolis, and now it's coming to New York and L.A. on the 25th! Maybe next, we'll get to see something by Rutu Modan on the big screen...





* Ok, you actually don't even want to know what I learned how to say in Persian. It is a bunch of ridiculous and useless stuff. Although if I ever need to romance a Persian man, I can bust out my, "beman takyekon, mesleh shabnam begol."

** So interestingly, when Sara used to want to say that something was in the equivalent of "B.F.E." she would generally say that it was in Uzbekistan. Now I know that Uzbekistan isn't even that far from Iran, I mean relatively speaking. So, like, that's not even as strong a statement as I thought it was. Hmm.