May 22, 2007

On Hating

I know that most of you know this, but I'm sort of a hater. For such a nice girl, it's hard to believe, but it's true. I get agitated with the behavior of strangers ALL THE TIME. And it makes my stomach churn acid, and my adrenalin gets pumping like I'm going to fight-or-flight.

1. Flipflops. See previous post. But I forgot one thing, which is that I HATE long toenails so much I can't even tell you. I hate it when toenails are even medium length, because they must be short. And worst of all, I hate when cute young girls wearing summery skirts and flipflops get FRENCH TOENAIL PEDICURES. For those of you who need this defined (Bob), a French Manicure is the type that accentuates the delineation between the white part of your nail and the pink part... they paint your whole nail sorta nudish/pinkish and then put an opaque white strip at the edge. When girls get this on their feet, it strikes me as horrendous in the same way seeing a girl wearing prosthetic nose hairs would. Why would you accentuate the length of your toenails???

2. Gum cracking. I hate gum snapping, popping and cracking. Rosie knows this, and so does Courtney. I get agitated with my own friends and family when I can even so much as barely hear the suggestion of gum in someone's mouth. I will routinely change cars on Amtrak or straight up get off the bus to avoid hearing this noise.

3. Repetitive noises. When Dennis uses the packing tape gun that's shaped like a shark, and it makes that loud tape noise, I start to get insane if it goes on too long. When a truck is backing up and keeps beep-beep-beeping, I start to freak. If a car alarm is going off near my window, I can't work. There is also a certain person in my office whose laugh sounds like a dying sheep, and although it's not completely repetitive, it is extremely upsetting. I know this noise thing is a problem that I would do well to solve, but I haven't been able to figure out how! My mom says I have a tolerance problem. She is right. I just can't seem to turn off the physical homicidal reaction I get to these things.

Anyway, this list is fun. I'll leave it alone for now and add more later as I think of things. (Things that make me freakishly intolerant and not really suited for life with other humans, that is.)


Blogger amanda bee opined...

are french pedicures better or worse than hornytoad sketchy winter toes?

1:29 PM  
Blogger Dubin opined...

Well, I mean personally, I would have to choose B.

1:33 PM  
Blogger AEW opined...

I agree! I HATE long toenail pedicures, french or otherwise. They look so gank -- how can they be intentional? I remember being courted by an SCA swordsman in Foothill who wore flip flops AND had hornytoad sketchy winter toes even in the spring, but even that was not as bad as snaky, painty, pointy, shiny, groomed long toenails. Hideous.

BTW, I agree that flip flops are not formal wear. Like jeans, I eschewed them completely from 1997 to 2003. However, it's quite hot in the desert, and sometimes my feet are just too puffy and sweaty to bear sandals. So I wear flip flops to the store and on short walks and sometimes all day on the weekend. I was really embarrassed about it at first, since it seemed like a failure of decorum and imagination, both. But, like those horrible, trendy, Brittney Spears-ish cotton gouchos I bought when I was pregnant (I hated them every day I wore them, but I STILL wore them!), sometimes they're just the most comfortable thing. However, I draw the line at adorned flip flops. Only sold black suedy things for me -- no dog collar braided straps or sequins or flower appliques.

Oh wait, I also have a pair in shiny gold. So shoot me! At least I don't chew gum. And my toenails are very short.

10:02 PM  
Blogger amanda bee opined...

I think NYC is getting to me. I'll take groomed toes any day.

How long are we talking here? Like Lee Press On toes? Or just a little white stripe that fakes like you've got long nails?

I'm not saying I would choose this style for myself, I'm just saying that there are worse things.

8:14 AM  
Blogger mexi melt opined...

I once got a black & white french mani-pedi and let me just say, it was THE BOMB!

picture this: fingernails black with opaque white tips and white toes with black tips.

the ladies at the shop thought i was crazy - they were all pointing and watching and commenting things i could not understand but i assumed it was of the "she so CRAZY!" vein.

it was a special occasion design. usually i just go with a solid color.

man! that was a great mani pedi!

4:54 PM  
Blogger karen opined...

i remember you being so pissed with your mom's gum cracking when i stayed w/ you back in 91!
i keep my toenails short, but i like the look of the french manicure/pedicure. my pet-peeve is the phrase "mani/pedi."
i'm totally stealing this "on hating" idea and putting it on my blog!

12:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:23 PM  
Blogger amanda bee opined...

Oh my.

I was just going to confess my grave sin of wearing flip flops for two days in a row, but now I'm stuck with images of watermelons and cooters, and this isn't even the right thread.

I was at a BBQ full of punks and it was hot and everyone else was doing it, too. I don't even feel bad about wearing my rubber shower shoes all over Brooklyn. I was also wearing cutoffs, and it is possible that I did not wash my hair. I call it okay because: I did not descend into the subway system or board a bus, and I did get a pedicure halfway recently.

10:51 PM  
Blogger karen opined...

i cannot wear flipflops now and not think of you, in philly hating me!

3:53 PM  
Blogger Dubin opined...

Hmm. That's interesting. Ross deleted his post about watermelons and cooters. I wonder if he got bashful about it. It's ok, Ross. I'm prepared for the horror show that awaits me...

Re: flipflops. I've relaxed my policy slightly. Flipflops are ok on the weekends when you're wearing shorts to a bar-b-que. I just meant that you can't wear them with a blazer to work. You'd think that would go without saying, but it doesn't. Hmm.

Also, am I the only one who has worse feet issues in the summer than in the winter? In the winter, when my feets aren't exposed to anything, they stay nice and soft and normal. Then, in the summer as soon as I start wearing sandals, they get all dried out and need constant care. I'm not even going to TELL you what's going on with them nowadays - all you need to know is that I wear anti-embollism socks in the evenings while watching my beloved DHC.

12:26 PM  
Blogger lil miss dubin opined...

all i'm going to say is that i think i might lose both my big toe nails from the half dome hike. grode.

7:57 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home