Short Attention Span Theater

Oy, gut. I am... that word that you get called when you look irritated and ashen and pissed off and exasperated. Beleaguered! That's it. Or maybe Harried.

My work life is comical. Maybe some day I will have a moment to tell you about it.

(I should mention that Poor John has it worse than I do and complains less than I do, just in case he reads this and thinks I'm a pussy because I complain when I'm at work until nine two days in a week.)

Since my attention span is short right now, here's a bulleted list of noteworthy things:

1. I got an award for softball. Ok, fine, it's a lame award and everyone got one. But I got an award for a sport! AND I GOT A SPORTS CARD! With my picture and my stats on it. I have "stats," I can't get over it. I have a "batting average" -- I batted 0.400 this season. Believe THAT!

2. I haven't been to the gym in EVER. It is not a great situation.

3. I haven't been to Yoga in longer. That's no good either.

4. I have, however, been using my waterpik and also doing crunches in the morning. Those are my only two good deeds right now. I think it's paying off, because I went to the dentist this morning and for once didn't get a lecture.

5. This may sound really dorky, and it is, but my neighborhood email listserve somehow started determining who would play who in the musical about our neighborhood. It's funny because many of us haven't even met each other, so we're guessing based on personality and vague descriptions that have been made over the years. When I suggested Maggie Gyllenhaal for myself, someone scoffed, like, "you wish." Dood, what's wrong with that? I don't think it's a stretch, right? Anyway, this person suggested Holly Hunter or that chick that plays the mom on "Malcom in the Middle."

BARF ME OUT.