Aug 14, 2006

True Story: Live and Learn

Those of you who read my gemologist tale a few entries back will note that I have gone back to change the names to protect the innocent. (ME! I'm innocent!) I can't believe I used real names! What if Genghis googles himself? What if Poor John googles for "Poor John"? What if Carmen sees that I posted her incontinence for all the world to laugh at? Sometimes, words hurt...

My sense of decorum kicked into gear because the following email exchange just happened:

From: Gemologist@brisket.com
Date: 2006/08/14 Mon AM 10:44:00 CDT
To: Dubin
Subject: Nice Blog

I ran across your blog just now, I guess I won't take too much offense to my lack of detail with sizing.... :-) So did you try our cheesesteaks yet? I think they should win Best of Philly by next year. We also added breakfast. I'm not sure if eggs fit into the meat category or not. See you soon, your Jeweler

* * * * *
Needless to say, after I got done hiding under my desk out of sheer embarrassment (after all, I essentially said he was a crappy jeweler! and that his mom isn't sweet! holy shit! I take it back, I take it back! Retract, retract!) , I wrote back:

From: Dubin
Date: 2006/08/14 Mon AM 10:54:00 CDT
To:
Gemologist@brisket.com
Subject: Nice Blog

OH SHIT. Well, I guess in my efforts to amuse my friends and myself, I have now made it so that I can absolutely never, ever, ever talk to you or see you ever again because I'm humiliated. Nice knowing you. If you see a girl walking by your store with a bag over her head, that's me. P.S. I should have known you'd google for your brisket to see how high up on the hit list you are! I am an idiot. Plus, the story is embellished for humor's sake, like all good stories are. Did I mention I'm retarded? Love, Dubin

TAKE HEED ALL YOUNG BLOGGERS OUT THERE! Or I guess I am the only one retarded enough to assume one's jeweler isn't googling himself... NOTE-TO-SELF: "Everyone is googling himself!"

Late-breaking post script: The names in the Gemologist posting have been subsequently changed BACK to the way it was before by request of said jeweler.

From: Gemologist@brisket.com
Date: 2006/08/14 Mon PM 06:13:11 CDT
To: Dubin
Subject: Retraction

A Bubby's Employee did the google search and let me know so I checked it myself. I truly loved the write-up. I always welcome constructive criticism and will do my best to be more detail oriented. The best part is that it was your unedited feeling, and hey.....you still patronize me in spite of myself. Sincerely, Max

P.S. Please put back the real names. I loved it the way it was. I wanted to show my friends and they got broken links. Please don't be embarrassed.

* * * * *
It seems that Max is the most emotionally healthy, non-defensive dude ever. Or, maybe he's just not mad about me calling him a shitty jeweler because his real love is the brisket, and at night instead of dreaming about old European-cut diamonds, he's drifting off to sleep with images of the fat melting off of delicious brisket and wondering whether eggs fit into the "meat" category or not...

4 Comments:

Anonymous AEW opined...

Good old Murray sounds pretty bemused about the whole thing. Good thing you didn't criticize his cheesesteaks. I wouldn't feel too bad; nobody Googles themselves without the expectation of finding something unpleasant. Isn't that why we do it? I mean, in addition to tallying our page count? Josh recently discovered online that he's a fraudulent poet. Phooey. Although I do not doubt the veracity of YOUR account.

7:52 PM  
Blogger lil miss dubin opined...

See, this to me is the quandry. The whole fun of blogging (maybe the whole fun of life?) is talking shit about people. So, if you can't, then what's the point? (I guess I will have to experiment with that on the new blog.) It seems the lesson to be learned here is that people who are confortable with themselves, not too sensitive or too proud, and not inherently nasty are generally happy in life and don't have nervous breakdowns when somebody on the Web says somthing about them for the sake of a good story. Must be nice.

3:42 PM  
Blogger amanda bee opined...

I can't even blog anymore. I'm planning a wedding and all I really have to tell, at least in the story department, is who is fucked up today. Or in which new and unique way is someone out there conspiring to make my head explode. And so instead I keep my mouth shut.

12:06 PM  
Blogger amanda bee opined...

PS, my friend Scott has a very cute "I was talking about you! you weren't supposed to read that..." store on his blog.

9:43 AM  

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