You have found an Oblivion Gate

Yes, that is what you think it is. It is a screenshot from a video game, the kind of game usually played by 25-year-old boys and other children. I remember a time when I had no interest in this type of thing -- it was not that long ago. One of the things about my life that has changed since marriage has to do with this very game, a game called "Elderscrolls IV: Oblivion."

I should be embarrassed, right? I mean, Anna called me the other night and I didn't even pick up the phone because I was busy bashing some weird evil moth-monks with my enchanted sword, in a cave where ghosts turn to ectoplasm when you kill them with magic spells and then you can harvest the ectoplasm and us it to make potions with your alchemy equipment. This shit makes the "liger," known for its skills in magic, look like some kind of Sigfried and Roy show.

It started when T.J. bought the XBOX 360. I noticed he spent a weird amount of time playing Oblivion, but it wasn't too bad at the beginning. His character was running all over Tamriel, opening up chests of gold and looting people's thatched-roof cottages and the like. Then he started playing more and more, so one day when he was out, I made up a character and started my own little adventure to see what the big deal was.

Now, life basically sucks. There are only a few options for the after-work hours:

1. He plays Oblivion. I wind up eating a Lean Cuisine from the microwave and surfing the web, since there's no point in talking to him.

2. I play Oblivion. TJ winds up eating a Hot Pocket from the microwave and playing internet chess all night, since there's no point in even trying to talk to me.

3. We trade off, so we both get to play but neither of us talks to the other.

4. No one plays, but we are both thinking about playing.

The game has really taken over, because for one it's very beautiful, and for two the plot devices are reasonably compelling. You get to fistfight skeletons and barter with hot medieval looking babes, and you can even change your own appearance by adjusting the nuances of your facial features and skin color. My character is a bluish dark elf with red eyes. She's fiiiiine. TJ's character is a scruffy-looking white guy, kinda like TJ.

I remember that I used to do things like go to the gym, do the laundry, cook, and talk to TJ. Now, I have an inkling of how an alcoholic feels -- like, the person knows that they would have a better life and accomplish more and have deeper relationships if they could just quit the bottle, but then they go pick up the bottle.

My friend John and his girlfriend just broke up. He said she told him she was worried he'd get a new girlfriend right away, to which he said, "Don't worry. You know I'll spend the first year of our break-up catching up on... I mean drowning my sorrows by playing Oblivion 24-7."

Who has this game? Are there people out there like us? Can I get a witness?